odds & ends item from JANUARY-FEBRUARY 2008
How to Be a Lady or a Gentleman
A Gentleman Should…
- Offer to give up his seat when a lady enters the room and all the seats are taken. If she objects, offer again to ensure she understands you are serious, and not simply offering as a formality.
- Not laugh at others’ mistakes. Be careful of this. Think about how you feel when you make a mistake and someone not only brings it up, but laughs about it. Also, minimize how often you discuss others’ mistakes. A gentleman is not out to make other people look bad so he will look good.
- Always remove his hat when indoors (even in public environments such as shopping malls, grocery stores, etc.). This is especially necessary when sitting at the dinner table. Even when you can “get away with it,” just because someone does not force you to remove your hat, it is still not appropriate.
- Be careful of the volume of his voice. Speaking too loudly can increase the stress level among those you are with. It also implies that you cannot reason with people and are instead trying to use “brute force” to get your point across. Speaking in a loud manner also draws attention to yourself—attention you may not want.
A Lady Should…
- Wait to begin eating until everyone is seated at the dinner table. Everyone should begin at the same time.
- If a gentleman offers his seat, take him up on the offer. This action is usually sincere. Reciprocate kindness to the person by showing you are grateful for the thoughtfulness. Accept offers graciously.
- Never eat her lunch while driving behind the wheel of a car.
- Never ask dating couples when they are getting married. Likewise, she doesn’t ask married couples when or if they are planning to have children.
- Never compliment one person when she is in a group setting. She chooses a moment when the two of them are alone to offer a compliment.